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Tip 29: Kitchen Whisks Are No Match for Stank

Kitchen whisks, lest you get confused, are best used to stir pancake batter, not wash soiled undergarments. But when you embark on a two-week hiking adventure in Washington state with one week’s worth...

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Tip 30: If You Give a Moose a Muffin, He Will Horribly Disfigure You

If you give a moose a muffin, he will NOT want some jam to go with it. He will want to trample you to death. I don’t want to point fingers, but Laura Numeroff and her G.D. children’s books may be...

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Tip 31: You Gotta Bleed for Love

There are many injustices in life. Being physically incapable of doing a pull-up, for example. Or eating just one Pop Tart. Or running more than 4 miles. But these are all things that are out of one’s...

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Tip 32: Don’t Go Chasin’ Waterfalls

The single most important thing you learn in your mid-twenties is that cheap pitchers are the Devil’s work. Unfortunately, you’ll find yourself in Barcelona in your early twenties. More specifically,...

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Tip 33: The Secret Garden Was Less Secret

A hostel is no place for three young gals to spend five months in Ireland. (Did I or did I not just warn you all about Waterfalls in Tip 32?!) Thus, you’ll arrive in Galway looking for your forever...

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Tip 34: Don’t Stalk Julia Roberts

Between the years 1998-2004, you may have had a somewhat disturbing and inexplicable obsession with Julia Roberts. As in, collected every magazine cover on which she appeared, recorded every interview...

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Tip 35: Pie Waits For No Man

Some families enjoy a good wine tasting, hopping from vineyard to vineyard on a sunny afternoon. But your family enjoys a good bakery. As in, bakery after bakery after bakery. So when you drive past a...

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Tip 36: Who Says You Can’t Go Home

When your mom tells you it’s time to clean out your childhood bedroom, you have no choice but to cry a little for no reason, then drive your grown-ass, 27-year-old self home for the weekend. Upon...

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Tip 37: Get Your Life Together

It’s your 26th birthday. Naturally, you want to spend it by roadtripping to the City of Brotherly Love with your BFF in search of large roadside attractions. As the saying goes, ‘A day of a giant...

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Tip 38: Always Be Yourself…But Don’t Expect to Date

Sweet 19 and never been dated, as the saying goes. University of Mary Washington / October 2005 / At Least It’s a Good Story But things are different now–you’re in college, with a fresh crop of...

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F*** Your Fear

great people do things before they’re ready. (amy poehler)

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Break the Glass Ceiling. Or Just the Glass.

There comes a time in every young life when you must throw a dinner party for your friends. It’s a rite of passage, similar to finally admitting that it wasn’t the two Blue Moons that “made you” get a...

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Mary Poppins Problems

The inner contents of your purse are hereditary. We work with the hand bag we’re dealt. Bound by a legacy in which your mother treated her purse like a trough, your own bags now serve as the storage...

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